Wait, This Isn't My English Essay!!!!

Procrastination has become my new addiction. Is "addiction" the right word for it? Something I shouldn't be doing, but I do it anyway no matter how hard I try not to. Oh well, at least it hasn't become bad for me yet. When I actually start to get anything lower than a B+ on a paper, I'll stop procrastinating. And since I haven't really written anything of value in this brand new blog of mine, what better to do to jog my writing juices than to mindlessly ramble on the internet?

I used to have an LJ. That changed into a Xanga when one of my exboyfriends started stalking me through my LJ. And as time flew by my Xanga morphed into a MySpace. Yes, I was one of the few who actually wrote in my Myspace instead of changing my pictures every 5 seconds and posting bulletin chains. Myspace really killled this whole online journal idea for me. No one cared anymore. Which is why I think I'm going to like blogspot (aside from the fact that I know very little about html). Looking back at my old LJ and Xanga entries, I realized I did some of my best writing ever in those things. Something tells me I should get back in the habbit.

Last night was so much fun! The performance was amazing and everyone deserves a pat on the back for making this show a reality. Yeah it had it's screw-ups, but for an opening night, I would have to say it went pretty damn well. Also, I think the audience added a certain dynamic of its own. Audiences always add a certain dynamic to the performance, but I just feel like last night's particular audience was a good one to have on an opening night. However, it could have spoiled us because tonight's audience may not be as good. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Just got a call from my brother from another mother, Bryan. He was supposed to come see the show tonight. He can't. I feel like the biggest douche ever. I keep putting reserved tickets up on the sheet in front of the box office, and then I keep erasing them because people don't show up or can't show up. Good for me. Let's see, who does that leave coming tonight? Oh yeah! Jim. Something tells me that's not going to happen. Guys like Jim make me want to regurgitate my spleen. The lame excuses. It's always the lame excuses. Although his reason for not showing up last night was not lame, the way he apologized for it was particularly nerve wrenching: "I'm sorry, I don't ever want to take you for granted...again." Yeah, thanks for the reminder.

Something tells me I shouldn't get into the topic of males at the moment. As I was explaining to John last night, my "significant other" is slowly turning out to be the person I thought he was when I first met him: an ass. I wanted to believe otherwise. Honestly, he's really a good guy. I just don't think we're compatible. He just wants a pretty girl who he can brag about to his friends, and I want someone who loves me for who I am. Unfortunately, the two do not go hand in hand. I don't do petty relationships. It's just not my scene, and either he's shaping up, or I'm shipping out. All in all I'm really hoping things turn around with him because I'm just not the kind of person who gives up easily. Honestly, he claims he likes me for who I am. My question then is why does he constantly point out every physical flaw I have? Seriously, it's been a new one each day. I don't recall him being perfect either. Isn't it every girls' dream to have a guy who looks her in the eye, tells her she's beautiful and means it? I just feel the last person on Earth who I should be afraid to see every day in the fear of my self-esteem hitting an all time low is my boyfriend.

There's more to this problem, but I don't want to turn this blog into a venting basin. At least not yet anyway. Please don't get me wrong here, he is a good guy. Or at least I thought he was.

LaTeR