Next Phase, Please!

We all have those moments in life where we hit forks in the road and have to choose which paths to take. Unlike Robert Frost, I'm not referring to the easy path or the harder path. I'm more referring to going down the same path or changing your course and leaving your old path behind. For me, it's come down to Sesame Place. As you can see by my blatantly Sesame themed blog: Sesame used to be a huge part of my life. I know it's dorky, but it's basically my Masque away from Masque (if that makes sense). Same basic concept: putting on shows with your friends. Except we perform every day...in the heat...for not the nicest people to grace the Earth...in costumes that are a third or more of our body weight.

The point is that this season has made me utterly miserable. If there is anything I want more in life right now it's to start this summer over again without Sesame. From bullshit supervisors, to bogus line schedules, to all your closest friends not suffering there with you anymore, there is nothing appealing left about Sesame. And this is not just me. So many people are through with the place, which is why I know I'm not insane for thinking it went to shit. Put it this way: if my friend PJ (who is probably the most POSITIVE person to ever set foot on Earth) is just as miserable as I am then you know something is wrong!

It's not so much the work itself that makes me miserable as much as it is the people. Besides all my friends being gone (with the exception of a small handful) those who replaced them are absolutely obnoxious. Maybe it's because they're so young. Maybe it's because I'm so much older. But wasn't I 17 once and working at Sesame? Yes. At that age, was I running around like an idiot and screaming at the top of my lungs as if Sesame was Day Care and not a working environment? No. Was I mouthing off and treating the adults, who worked their asses off to make sure my costume worked, like they were lower than dirt? No. So why did these trends happen? I know the entertainment department hired young this season...but was being an oblivious, self-centered, ungrateful teenager part of the job requirement as well? At this point, if someone told me that was on the application, I would believe it without thinking twice about it.

I'm just sick of coming home mad. I'm sick of waking up the next day and still being mad. I'm sick of driving to work angry. I'm sick of driving home from work angry. I'm sick of being pissed that my safety is being neglected. I'm pissed about doing MORE work in LESS hours resulting in doing MORE work for LESS pay and under MORE dangerous conditions. I'm just sick of being angry. I'm not an angry person, and Sesame has made me that way. Granted, there have been days I've been able to brush things off and have fun, but there haven't been many. I'm glad that today was one of those good days. It almost makes me wish it was my last day.

Put it this way: I hung out with my old Sesame Crew tonight after work and it was the piece my life I've been missing all summer. We did our own little "Fuck You Sesame!" by swimming in Cindy's pool in none other than the unitards we wore under the costumes (which Cindy accidentally stole over the years) for a good long while. Pictures of this excursion should be coming soon to a facebook near you! And although I haven't seen most of these people in a long, long while, it's as if we HAD spent all summer together. Nothing had changed. It felt fun. It felt relieving. It felt home.

I wish I could say the reason I stayed at Sesame was because of those children who truly gained a lifelong memory from my work. And although those few instances made me feel like I did something worth while this summer, they weren't enough to balance the pain and misery of the bullshit my coworkers and supervisors/bosses made me put up with. It's sad. It makes me sad to think about how something I looked forward to every year for the past 4 years has made me the most unhappy I've been in a long time. I'm used to being depressed...but never incessantly angry.

With that in mind along with the fact that my Sesame career is drawing to a close, I wanted to post a few highlights from this year:

1. The parade. This is the first time someone caught me on film as a 50's dancer in the parade and put it in an online forum. Check out the girl in the gold skirt...

2. The most HILARIOUS parade I've ever done! See previous entry for more details.

3. The last time anyone will ever do "Adventure Isle" in Abby Cadabby's Treasure Hunt. Yes, that's me in Abby.

4. Doing Big Bird's Beach Party with PJ as "Jamie". Watch how we sneaked our "secret handshake" into the opening number!

And I'm also leaving you with this message. Sesame will no longer be as big a part of my life as it has been. At least at this point of my life. I need to get away from it. Looking back on it, all I see is pictures of people who are no longer there, pictures of times when everything was fun, and videos of shows when they used to be done right. Yes, I'll probably stop when I pass Sesame Street while flipping through channels. Yes, I'll still have my Abby Cadabby blanket and my Sesame Place hoodie. But other than those few things here and there, I'm done. It's over. Time to grow up and move on. Therefore, this blog is of no use to me anymore. You can find me now on wordpress at:

http://twistsandturnsoffate.wordpress.com/

I just can't open this blog anymore and see all these stupid characters smiling back at me. After this summer, it kind of makes me want to puke. So change of scenery!

Well, after the 6th, I'll have about 2 weeks to recharge my nerves before going back to the stresses of school. Not as much time as I allotted last summer when Sesame was fulfilling, but I'll have to make due. There's so much going on in my head and in my life right now I wish I knew where to turn. All I know is Sesame is one problem I don't have to live with anymore. Gotta take things one step at a time I guess.

So for the last time...

*Twinkle Out*

When it Rains, it Pours!

(Please do not be fooled by the title because this is a happy entry!)

It was about a week ago where we had about 4-5 days in a row of "passing thunderstorms" on our local weather forecast and never received a drop of rain. It could look like 9:00 at night at 2:00 in the afternoon, but no rain would fall. Yesterday changed all of that. Even though the forecast read "chance of showers", we got BOMBARDED!

Where the humor comes in with all of this is that it happened just in time for the 7:00 Rock Around the Block Parade. I was a 50's Dancer (which means I'm in the front of the parade dancing with a few characters) and it was probably one of the craziest moments of my life. Raindrops started to fall a good 10 minutes before the parade began, but they didn't fall harder until 5 minutes before the parade was to begin. It was declared that the parade was going to be a "walk through" which meant that the floats/dancers/characters were not permitted to stop at any time (there are choreographed stop times during a normal run of the parade) so that everyone would be out of the rain soon and we wouldn't have to cancel the parade. Two minutes before the parade began, the rain drops which had steadily increased, mysteriously stopped out of nowhere. "That was it?" we thought. Little did we know what lied beyond the big blue gates separating where we were in the backstage area from the parade route running through the entire park. We opened the big blue gates in front of us to start the parade and we saw the strangest thing ever: About 20 ft or so in front of us was a wall of torrential downpour. We were driving this parade straight into this thick, heavy rain.

Luckily, we made it through the parade unscathed. All the characters were soaked, but alright. The floats had huge problems because the drivers couldn't see anything and had to be slowly escorted down the length of the parade route blindly with only a person on the outside of the float with a walkie-talkie as their guide. It was absolute hell on wheels, and I nearly lost my voice trying to get characters off the route and into the costume shop where it was dry, and from screaming directions to people in floats who couldn't see a thing. However, as my fellow 50's Dancers and I danced down the parade route, laughing our asses off at how drenched we were, I must admit that I've never performed the parade to a more responsive crowd. There were many people still in the park because there was supposed to be an Independence Day Fireworks display around 9:00, so we actually had an audience during this mini monsoon. They cheered us on the whole way through. Even the lifeguards/park ops employees who control the crowd during the parade (and absolutely HATE us) were laughing at and cheering for us as we went by. It was definitely one of the funniest things that has ever happened.

It just so happens that one guest caught a snippet of the ordeal on tape. It barely does justice to the hilarity of the situation, but at least you'll get an idea.

Well, now I'm off to bed so that I may go back to work tomorrow and go back to hoping the rain will make life on The Street interesting yet again!

*Twinkle Out*

Mantra

I think I found my goal to live up to my junior year...starting now! (and no, not Meet the Robinsons...)



*Twinkle Out*

The Little Things

*Editor's Note: This Blog entry is going to be littered with things that make me smile :-D*

I really hate this time of year. Do you want to know why? It's always a time of physical and emotional pain that I dread each year. I thought after experiencing it once then it might not be so hard after that. Nope! It only gets harder as you, um...get older?

First things first are the goodbyes. I'm not going to get all sappy and say I'm going to be lost without this years senior class because that would be a lie. Hell, I'm going to miss them like crazy, but Sophomore year has proven well enough that the world does not end when the graduated senior class isn't around as often. Oh it sucks, but they come back. They always do! Honestly, the ones I care about are close enough that I'll get to see them all summer long, or at least from time to time. I'm just happy that the ones who truly make me smile are so close to home!


Okay, so I admit it: I'm going to miss the class of 2008. Don't think you're so special though, because I said I was going to miss the class of 2007 too! Anyhoo, they say that when a senior class leaves then you should cling to the next class above you and your class for comfort. That's all well and fine except a bunch of my closest friends in those classes are not going to be at school first semester! Tough break, tough break. Oh well, I still love them anyway. And it'll only make it more fun when they come back for spring semester!


Well that was pretty much the grunt of the "emotional pain" segment. Unfortunately the physical pain portion is the only part weighing me down these days. I've been working at Sesame for three weeks now and have yet to do Elmo in the shows. I've been Abby every... freakin... day. Words cannot express the pain I'm in. All I keep telling myself is "my body will get used to it again, my body will get used to it again", but to tell you the truth, I don't remember my head hurting this bad in years past. That's the only thing that's bothering me. Pulled muscles, pinched nerves, and bruises I can live with. But the tension/sinus headaches and the bruised scalp really make it hard to stay awake at work, let alone for doing anything after. Ya know, like that stupid calculus class I have every Tuesday and Thursday night. Not cool!


I guess the only positive thing I can say about Sesame right now is that, um...I'm a cute Abby? Yeah, that's the ticket! No really, I'm kinda looking forward to next week's schedule. And by next week I mean June 9th - 15th. Wanna know why? Because on Tuesday, June 10th John and Kate Plus 8 are coming to Sesame Place! That means, if I'm in cast on Tuesday (which is very likely, considering all the high schoolers will be in school) I could be on TV! So I'm kinda waiting for the schedule to go up. I really hope I'm not something lame like character walks or something.


That's about it for my life right now. All I really have to say about self reflection is that summer has brought a lot of freedom. Okay, so I have a calc class two nights a week and Sesame is already eating my body & soul and we haven't even started full time yet...BESIDES THAT, I've come to really appreciate the little things: the random IMs, the goofy hang-out sessions, the hoard of bumper stickers, the crazy texts, the late-night phone calls, and the quality time with besties I'm thankful to have snuck in my effed-up schedule from time to time. Seriously, it's the little things that have been my energy boost between shows at work, my jolt to keep me awake after work, and my laughter which has distracted me from my aching muscles better than Motrin. Seriously, you all crack my shit up and at the time when I need it most. So for that, I tip my hat to you...and now my neck is stuck in that position, eek!




And as someone smart *COUGH* not Dan *COUGH* is currently telling me: it's bedtime. Gotta go to work in the mornin'





::CUE BEDDY-TIME SONG::

*Twinkle Out*

It's About Time

I think it's about time for a more postive post in this blog. So here it goes...

The Undergraduate Research presentation was FABULOUS! I mean, I know Pam and I had video/music playing, but people seemed to be drawn to our project even without that. As Dr. Blum stated when I went to him for physics help, "The projects were interesting. I couldn't get near your board though." Sorry Blum! Didn't know my and Pam's project was going to be such a hit! Between Anna Allen, Dr. Bednar, and Dr. Smith, I don't know what is going to happen with our project next:

Anna Allen: She wants us to copyright our concept of linking dance and chemistry and then copyright our choreography. Pam and I are forbidden to make copies of our DVD or put the dances on YouTube until we have everything copyrighted. She would like us to polish it up a bit and then market it as a teacher's aid.

Dr. Bednar: She agrees with Anna that we need to sell it as a teacher's aid. However, Dr. Bednar wants us to also get the rights to the music so that we can perform it live it we wanted to. Apparently that's, "Not hard, and relatively inexpensive". I think my favorite part was, "Is Dr. Prushan bringing you to the chemistry conference with this project? Has he emailed the people running it yet? Is he sure they aren't already booked? Well, if it runs anything like the education conference then they're probably already booked. I'm gonna go ask him..."

Dr. Smith: "This is my favorite project!" was probably the one phrase he kept uttering. His ideas are probably the wildest of them all. Dr. Smith is going to "talk to some people" to try and get us grant money. He would like to see us get the rights for the music and copyright our concept and choreography as well, but he wants us to market it toward professional theater companies. With this grant money, Smith wants us to get professional dancers and get backed by some professional theaters.

And on a side note, Dr. Price: (While watching the square dance) "Ooo look, resonance structures! Wow! Look at the bonds breaking! I wish the structure would fold in on itself and change shape...oh wait, it is! Loot at that!"

I can see the teacher's aid concept, but I'm not all sure about Dr. Smith's idea for a few reasons. One, I would be heartbroken to replace any of our dancers with professionals. It just wouldn't be the same. Those involved made this project worth doing and it wouldn't feel the same without them. Two, technicalities really. For instance, what professional dance company would take me and Pam serious as choreographers? Also, the choreography is not designed for professional dancers. Overall, the idea is awesome Dr. Smith, but it doesn't make much sense.

Next topic on my list is

Doug, Brianna, Pam, Liz P, Annaliese, Megan H, & Sara

So we were at the table on Wednesday and Megan thought it would be funny to tell everyone about her game she's been playing all year. This game doesn't have a name, but it basically consists of taking words that start with "al" and putting a "v" in front of them to make them about me. Examples: "Valcove", "Valcoholic", "The Valchemist". With some slightly altered rules to this game, the Vallied Powers sat around the table for about an hour and a half and came up with the following:

The Vallied Powers
Vallegory
See you later Valligator
Valcove
Val-Jassir
Valcoholic
Valchemist
Val-Queda
Valex Trebek
Valley-Cat
Valluminum Foil
Valiban
Valready to go
Valmanac
Valbus Dumbledore
Control-Valt-Delete
Valzheimers
Valabama
Valaria
Valtoids
Valbert Einstein
Edgar Vallen Poe
Vallentown, PA
Vallen Ginsburg
Valifornia knows how to party
Valgorithm
Valtruistic
Vallusion
Valbum
Valberqueque
Vallopian Tubes
Invallable
Valgebra
Valestine
Valexander the Great
Valexander Hamilton
Valexander Gram Bell
The Library of Valexandria
A Valley-Oop
Valerina
Valtercation
Valteration
Valmost Famous
Valice in Wonderland
Valex Mack
Val Gore
Valaska
Valliby
Valbatros
Valvin and the Chipmunks
The Prisoner of Valcatrez
Vallegro
Vallegra
Valance Beam
Valcon
Valangies
Valkaline Batteries
Valkali Metals
Valkaline Earth Metals
Valpine
Vallison Channey
Valright
Valypso
Vallergies
Vallegence
Valphabet
Valsace-Lorraine
Valicia Keys
Vallison Krauss
Valtitude
The Valamo
Valaddin
Valbanian

So from now on, when I drink I'm a Valcoholic, if I forget something then I have Valzheimers, if I give you a really big hug you're a prisoner of Valcatrez, when I dance I'm a Valerina, my little study area in my room with my desk is my Valcove, etc. If you can think of a word that works and it's not Valready on the list, feel free to add it and become a member of the Vallied Powers.

And just for the record this was not my doing...but it's hilarious!

I think my favorite part was Davey sitting at the table with us and not being able to come up with a single word. Sorry Davey, "Valentine" and "Vallium" are already words. They don't work. And" Valadder" (ladder) doesn't work either. Davey actually walked around reading signs and pulled out a program and thumbed through it in search of words he could use. Poor Davey!

An update for the Vallied Powers: Megan and Liz want to make shirts. Don't ask me why, but they do. Questions? Comments? Concerns? Talk to Meg or Liz!

And of course, since this entry couldn't be entirely chipper, I have to admit the theme of my life right now is "trying new things". Some of these new things I can't wait for, and some of them I'm dreading terribly. For instance, I can't wait to make the Masque office look brand-spankin'-new during senior week. My ideal situation: Get rid of props that are A)Broken and B)We'll never use again. Also, taking an inventory of props so incase things do get messy again (which they will) Props Masters/Mistresses will know what we have (somewhere in the dung heap) and don't have to go out and waste money buying stuff we already have. If I can get that done then my next step would be to tackle those photoboards next to Cicala's office. Don't get me wrong, I mean I love history and all, but we don't need three photoboards full of Cicala! And if there is any time left over (which there probably won't be, but here's hoping) I need to rearrange some files and get things in order my way. I'm saving that for last because once the office is clean then rearranging files is something I can do when I come back in the fall if need be.

Next on my list: my room at home. That didn't quite happen over Christmas break, and I'd really like to see that project come to fruition, especially because I'm going to be taking Calc2 until July and I'm gonna need somewhere to work. Plus, I know I'm not going to be getting an appartment straight out of college, so it's not like all of this work will go to waste.

(Sorry, this is completely unrelated, but still awkward as all hell: I'm in the library typing this up and there is a guy part way across the room from me CLIPPING HIS FINGERNAILS--nail clipper and all--in the middle of the library. Any psychology majors in need of a case study? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)

Anyhoo, now on to the new things I'm not looking forward to as much. One of them is being at Sesame. Um, new choreography for a show that has been running perfectly fine for 5 years? Yeah. I don't get it either. This is the last year for Big Bird's Beach Party, and NOW they decide the choreography is a little too intense? I knew Sesame employees were slow, but this just takes the cake. Aside from the unneccessary changes in choreography that are going to fuck with my job, there is also the factor of being alone. I know I mentioned this in a previous post, so I'm not going to hit this up with too much detail. All I have to say is this is most definitely going to be my last year at Sesame unless I get a supervisor position. Even then, I don't know if I'll want to be there. It's just not the same without the people you love working with. It's awkward being one of the "old" ones when you're surrounded by high schoolers, because the truth is you are so much older than them. Last year they all thought I was 23. Now what? I just want my free passes this year (so Amy, Chris, and I can take our family vacation! Woot!) and then I'm done with it after this. It's the same old bullshit every time I go back, so what's the point? I'm over it.

Speaking of being over the same old bullshit (as if that wasn't just the world's perfect segway) I've learned a new trick that I'm not looking forward to performing: how to burn bridges. Truth is, I don't give up on people. I never have. It's just not something I do. I care about people too much. I generally don't hold grudges and I tend toward the forgiving side. However, recent events (and by recent I mean um...the last few months or so) have made me realize that maybe I shouldn't be me anymore. Maybe some people need to be yelled at. Maybe some people need to be hurt to wake up. Maybe I don't deserve being treated like SHIT in plain English. So I'm trying this thing a good friend of mine calls, "Having a fucking fight or else nothing will get better". And if it doesn't get better? Well, I think at that point I'm supposed to just walk away. Apparently, this is supposed to be "good for me". All I know is that if this happens, when it happens, I'll be the only one I know who's not proud of myself.

*Twinkle Out*

Letters to the Editor:

Dear Heart,

Would you mind shutting up now? I don't know how many times I've had to listen to you over the course of this past year, but you're always WRONG. You're always going to be WRONG. I'm right, you're wrong, get over it! It would be very nice if you could keep your mouth shut for a while because I could really use the break.

Sincerely,
Brain

Dear Brain,

My bad. Didn't mean to fuck that one up...again. I know I've put a damper on everything as usual, but I really have to put my foot down on this one no matter how many times you tell me not to. I may not always be right, but I'm about as stubborn as you are. Tis a fault of my own and I apologize for it in advance. I just wish you'd let me speak out once in a while. If you give me the chance, I might be able to change things...save someone from making a mistake... make a difference to someone. Maybe if you just let me try then I wouldn't be weighing your thoughts down so much.

Love,
Heart

Dear Heart,

No can do. It's just not your place. Trust me when I say I know better than to start shit that's not mine to start. If you want to keep throwing a hissy fit about it then fine, go for it. It seems to be about the only thing we can agree on these days. Between me knowing the truth and you caring too much, I know how much of a pickle this may seem. Hopefully, things will work out as they should. Let's just get drunk and forget about it for a while. Sound good?

Cordially,
Brain

Dear Brain,

That's probably the most intelligent thing you've said all evening. I'm so there!

Kisses,
Heart

Dear Brain and Heart,

Do I get a say in this? As for you, Brain, you're the reason why I starved for most of the day. What the heck possessed you to believe that eating only one meal today was a smart move? Maybe if you got more sleep then you would have recognized that I was trying to do my job down here, genius! And heart, ohhhhhh don't get me started! You've been on my shit list for a while. Way to let your emotional rampages throw off my schedule. Now while the two of you bicker, may I remind you that the Brain once again forgot to set aside enough time and energy to study for the Organic Exam she knows nothing about on Friday? I'm down here doing flip flops over it and you two are fretting away about non-important shit that's not worth either of your time and energy in the long run. The both of you need to get back to work!

Many thanks,
Stomach

In other news:

Taping of the dances for my and Pam's honors project is DONE! We actually nailed lyrical on the first try, so that was a plus. Afterwards, I had a nice chat with Courtney who stayed after her senior video interview to help us tape lyrical. It's so nice to talk to someone who shares the same fears as you do and sees eye to eye with you on things that have been bothering you. It makes you feel like maybe you're not so crazy after all! All I know is if the thing Courtney and I are dreading actually manifests, at least we won't be sitting there laughing by ourselves.

*Twinkle Out*

Fuck My Life (Part 2)

The following exchanges are reasons why Megan and I have lived together tooooooo long:

Megan: "Wow, Val! We have lived together for way too long!"
Val: "Yup."
Megan: "And next year will be awesome!"
Val: "Yeah, because we'll be living together too long, but this time we'll have a stove!"
Megan: "And a fridge! That you can fit inside! So we'll both have burns of various degrees!"
Val: "And mine will be BLUE!"

Val: "Hold on reading me those show synopses. I have to pee."
Megan: "NO YOU DON'T!"
Val: "YES I DO!" (Points to expanding pile of old flyers on the ground) "NOW CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT!"
Megan: "I CAN'T! I'M BEING HOUSE TRAINED!"

Megan: "Sorry my laugh just sounded like a sex noise."
Val: "It's okay. When I get really tired, my laugh sounds like a chipmunk."
Megan: "Yeah, I know."
Val: "You do?"
Megan: "Yes, I've heard it."
Val: "Oh yeah. Hmm, Jim used to love that laugh. He always told me it was cute...God I'm lonely."
Megan: (cracks up hysterically) "Sorry I'm laughing at your loneliness!"
Val: "Not a problem."
Megan: "This should totally be your away message!"
Val: "It should be, but then I'd get awkward IMs from Jim saying, 'What does this mean?!?!'"
Megan: "Fuck him!"
Val: "NO! No more! That's one of the reasons we're not together anymore."
Megan: "Oh, no I thought you were talking about somebody else!"

Megan: "I'm afraid to search this show..."
Val: "What show?"
Megan: "'Ladies in Lingerie'. I'm afraid of what I may find!"

Megan: "How about 'Annie Get Your Gun'?"
Val: "Eh..."
Megan: "Ah! It has 25 men!"
Val: "...I have 25 men."
Megan: "You'll wear them out in no time!"
Val: "Damn straight, I will! Wait...that's a compliment towards me, right?"
Megan: "Um...I think so? But I don't know. Let's just go with 'yeah' because you'd totally rock them all!"

Soooooo cracked out!