"Tis but thy name that is my enemy..."
My hour and a half Wawa run with Chris taught me a lot of things. First off that he inadvertantly helped me to be in the situation that I'm in and felt was the result of my undoing. And if everything goes according to how I see it, he will be making fun of me for quite some time. Gee, how I always dreamed to be in McBride's debt...
Other things he mentioned got me kind of scared. All I have to say is: listen to Chris. Out of anyone on this campus, he has known me the closest for the longest amount of time. He has helped me out in more ways than I could ever begin to thank him for, and he continues to look out for me. He may seem like he doesn't care, but he does. He just may have a funny way of showing it.
I don't want to say I'm worried, because worried is such a harsh word. I'm interested to see where I fit in when it comes to the Masque. Although my sister and I are alike in many ways, I am NOT my sister. I am not her clone. I am not her replacement. I am not Jess-Splenda. Come to think of it, I'm no one's clone. I'm no one's replacement. I am me. Some of you know me. Some of you have talked to me. Those of you who have done so, I am very grateful to you. I have made some amazing friends here at LaSalle, especially in the Masque. All I'm saying is that please, in the words of the musical we just finished: "Take me as I am". I have not met a single one of you that I don't like and I feel very privelaged to get to know all of you more in the upcoming months. All I ask is that whatever labels you've put on me to please remove them. It's not that I don't appreciate the kindness of people taking care of Jess's sister, but please, take your time to get to know me on your own level. I have a head start on you guys because Jess has told me such wonderful things about all of you, but I would also like to get to know you more on my own. And although I may be preaching to the wrong choir, I just needed to push that out there. It's been bothering me quite a lot. And it wasn't on my mind really until today when I got a MAJOR PAPER back from my lit teacher with my comments beginning with: "Jessica, blah blah blah" (yes, my lit professor called me Jessica on my paper).
I want to get to know you guys. I want to be a part of your family (The Masque Family). I want to fit in, help out, cheer you up, make you laugh, be a shoulder to cry on in any way possible...it's just I want to do it as Val.
LaTeR
Other things he mentioned got me kind of scared. All I have to say is: listen to Chris. Out of anyone on this campus, he has known me the closest for the longest amount of time. He has helped me out in more ways than I could ever begin to thank him for, and he continues to look out for me. He may seem like he doesn't care, but he does. He just may have a funny way of showing it.
I don't want to say I'm worried, because worried is such a harsh word. I'm interested to see where I fit in when it comes to the Masque. Although my sister and I are alike in many ways, I am NOT my sister. I am not her clone. I am not her replacement. I am not Jess-Splenda. Come to think of it, I'm no one's clone. I'm no one's replacement. I am me. Some of you know me. Some of you have talked to me. Those of you who have done so, I am very grateful to you. I have made some amazing friends here at LaSalle, especially in the Masque. All I'm saying is that please, in the words of the musical we just finished: "Take me as I am". I have not met a single one of you that I don't like and I feel very privelaged to get to know all of you more in the upcoming months. All I ask is that whatever labels you've put on me to please remove them. It's not that I don't appreciate the kindness of people taking care of Jess's sister, but please, take your time to get to know me on your own level. I have a head start on you guys because Jess has told me such wonderful things about all of you, but I would also like to get to know you more on my own. And although I may be preaching to the wrong choir, I just needed to push that out there. It's been bothering me quite a lot. And it wasn't on my mind really until today when I got a MAJOR PAPER back from my lit teacher with my comments beginning with: "Jessica, blah blah blah" (yes, my lit professor called me Jessica on my paper).
I want to get to know you guys. I want to be a part of your family (The Masque Family). I want to fit in, help out, cheer you up, make you laugh, be a shoulder to cry on in any way possible...it's just I want to do it as Val.
LaTeR
2 Comments:
As much as we throw the whole "family" thing around, I barely know my grandma Jess. So I know you as Val. And I think people definitely are starting to.
Stuff like that paper are going to happen for a little bit, but soon everyone will understand you're not your sister. I remember going to the high school my brother went to, and having teachers and people do that. I remember how much it sucked. But I also can look back and see how I found my place, and watched the comparisons fall by the wayside.
Peace and Good Things :)
You had to know this was going to happen. I mean, at least at first. It's only your first semester. And before long, anyone who really knows me will be gone (oh God, we're getting old!)
It's the kind of thing that happens a lot with siblings. But in the past, our age difference (and the fact that we went to different high schools) prevented it from coming up.
In a college setting, it really shouldn't be an issue either. But it just so happens we have the same interests. And it just so happens we're both hardcore about those interests. And it just so happens that I met a bunch of amazing people there who are still there, being amazing. But I have to say a few things about that:
The Masque you're in is not the one I was in. I was with an entirely different group of people for most of the time. When I think of the Masque, I think of the folks who were a year or two ahead of me. The Masque-types you know now didn't come around till my junior or senior year, and while a lot of our experiences overlap, they differ greatly as well. I remember different things, like "the table" in backstage being an invitation-only lunch spot for inappropriate conversation and smoking.
We're not the same person. But in a lot of ways, we're similar, because we very strongly take after Mom and Dad. Neither one of us rebelled (there's still hope for Emily). We're not carbon copies - but to an outside observer, we're close. We have the same academic integrity. The same sense of humor (twisted though it may be). The same insecurities. The same social behavior. And we tend to be drawn to the same sorts of people - in this case, the exact same people. There's something to be said that one of the people you've developed the best confidence with was someone I ended up dating. And the people I chose as my Masque babies, you are close to.
Thing is, I don't know the freshmen. I don't know the sophomores (though oddly enough, some of them know of me). The juniors were my freshmen. The seniors were my sophomores. And then there's five classes of people I did theatre with that you don't know. In your time there, you will have five classes of people who don't know me.
So for right now, there are comparisons. Don't take them too seriously. I mean, what if I had made this horrible impression on everyone - then you'd be screwed! Everyone would be like "Oh God, Jess' sister - RUN!"
You are your own person. And you have the opportunity to create memories with these people that I am not a part of - new memories you can share.
As for Busse, she's crazy.
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